June begins and its all a proceedure. Sun up, sun down... days blur together. June 12, 2005- Momma and Daddy's 29th wedding anniversary. I don't remember much, there was a palpable feeling of saddness in the air. I do remember Momma leaning over to tell Daddy happy anniversary, kissing him on the cheek. She left the room afterwords... my guess was she went to cry.
The week before Father's day was filled with dread for me. I couldn't stomach it being his last. He was also very emotional. It was one thing to be able to put on a happy face and be the cheerleader everyday under our new reality, but I could NOT handle my Daddy crying. It cut me to the core. As a Daddy's girl, it boggles your mind to see your hero weep like a lost child. I had got my acceptance letter from Georgia College and State University. I went in to show Daddy... and watched as his lip quivered and he let loose a heart wrenching sob. I hugged him as the hot tears from my own eyes stung my cheeks. I held him as his sobs calmed, but I did not allow my breathing to change. I didn't let him know I was crying. I couldn't.
Saturday, June 18, 2005.
I was piddling around the house, doing much of nothing. I walk down stairs and see Momma on the couch. She's wipeing her eyes in a way trying not to be noticable. I notice the movie on the TV. The Notebook, the end of it. "Yeah... THAT movie..." I said to her pointing at the TV. "YEAH..." I continued "I'm gonna water the flowers." I stepped out on the porch.
Little did I know, that was the beginning of the end of the life I had known for 18 years.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=vTnWFT3DvVA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvTnWFT3DvVA
yeah
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