One year- many meanings behind those two words. It's been a year since I put my story out there. A year that has brought me new friends from the ALS community. A year that I finally feel like my voice is being heard. A year that I finally feel I am making a difference!
Anyone who knows me closely, knows from Mother's Day to August 11, I struggle with a perpetual depression. This comes from a string of "bad anniversaries" and holidays. This year I hit a milestone. A break through. Father's Day, I was in my usual funk, but trying to drown my thoughts by piddling around on my phone. My phone buzzes, I look and see the facebook icon on my status bar. I slide the status bar down and notice my cousin posted a comment on my page. This is the beginning of my breakthrough.
My cousin's comment said, "Happy Father's Day Uncle Lee" and there was a youtube link attatched. First of all, I felt immense gratitude towards my cousin for recognising my daddy on Father's Day. Secondly, I was curious as to what this link was. "Riverbank" was the title of the song. I plug my earbuds in and click play. As the song hit its chorus, tears welled up and spilled down my face.
"I wish this was a riverbank, instead of a graveyard..." Sheer perfection of my feelings. I was overwhelmed with emotion and yet so happy that I could connect with my cousin over that song. I told him I wish I could find some of Daddy's fishing club buddies- maybe they could host a memorial tournament for Daddy and have the procceeds go to the ALS association.
Before I knew it, my cousin had started calling buddies and seeing if they would fish such a tournament. Lo and behold... within 2 hours, we had ourselves the beginnings of a fishing tournament! Fish to Fight ALS was born. The next week was so filled with planning and excitement, one of my dreaded days- June 19th, the day Momma passed- came and went without me noticing.
Process that for a moment. For the past 9 years, that has been one of the worst days for me mentally. This year, I completely disregarded it. That's huge...HUGE, for me! Which leads me to this conclusion, turning my sorrows into a productive project such as the fishing tournament is a good thing. A GREAT thing. Most of all, a healthy thing to do!
So, cuz-if you are reading this, THANK YOU! You helped me in so many ways by just being that push! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
WHAT A YEAR!
