No doubt about it, life in and of itself is truly a miracle. Sure, it sounds cliché, but look into the eyes of a brand new mother holding her baby. Look and find wonder and amazement, love and purpose, but most of all you will see the eyes of someone beholding their miracle. And sharing that miracle with loved ones, its an amazing part of life. I witnessed that today.
Of course, I've had family members added during my lifetime. Today stuck out in my mind though. For one, today was the first time I've been invited to "the waiting party" at the hospital. It was a special thing, sitting down with family... chatting, getting to play with my other cousin's baby (who is 4mos old) and waiting to meet our newest family member. It was one of the best times I've had.
The second thing, really hit my heart. It in no way overshadows the joy I feel for my cousin, but it hit home an issue that I will undoubtedly struggle with as I move closer to having my own little family. The look my Uncle had on his face after coming out of the room where he met his grandson for the first time. The joyful tears staining his face. It brought a bunch of emotions to the surface. I was so happy for him... but I couldn't help but think. I couldn't stop it... it was already at the back of my mind.
I will never get to see that. Stupid, stupid monster! It robbed my Dad of that kind of joy. .. that moment in life. It robbed ME of that. It kills me. There are so many things that the monster has taken... but I think the fact my Daddy will not be there to hold his grandchild is the HARDEST pill to swallow. Heck... I blame the monster for Momma too. Because of it, she won't be there to hold my hand. Tell me her experience... what she did. What I should do. Things a daughter should have her mother there for!
Stupid monster! I hate you... as God as my witness, I will work tirelessly to eradicate you. So one day, someone's daughter won't be sitting in front of a screen, tears running down their face, wishing that their parents were still around!
